


Lessons in Comfort and Observation

by Sproutling



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Confused Castiel, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean is not overly helpful, Gen, Healing, Hugs, Men of Letters Bunker, Possibly Pre-Slash, Protective Castiel, Sam is a clingy clingy koala, Sleepy Cuddles, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 12:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4136973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sproutling/pseuds/Sproutling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set a short but undetermined time after the PB&J conversation in Season 9, after Gadreel’s eviction, though Dean is back.</p>
<p><i>Dean has referred to the bunker as home and Sam always struggles to comprehend for a moment.</i>  </p>
<p>Or: Castiel learns much about his humans and himself and Sam finds trust in the safety of ‘home’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons in Comfort and Observation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Daily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daily/gifts).



Lessons in Comfort and Observation

 

There are things about the Winchesters Castiel has yet to learn.  In the last week he has discovered he has yet to learn everything about himself – the loss of PB and J is still a source of aggrieved longing that has convinced him of the truth in the term ‘comfort food’; comfort he feels bereft in the absence of – and is thus relatively unsurprised by day-to-day discoveries regarding the way Dean and Sam live. 

He has never lived for any significant amount of time with the same humans.  The bunker, being the concentrated microcosm of the brothers’ lives that it has become, provides almost hourly examples of the habits of humans.

Dean hums when cooking over the stove but not while preparing ingredients if a knife is required.

He empties the bin in his bedroom at the same time on the same day every week, no matter what else he may be (should be) doing.

He leaves some form of mess when he leaves most rooms but never in the kitchen or – from what Castiel has deduced given his observations – his bedroom.

He’ll fall asleep anywhere and in any position and invariably complain of a sore neck when he awakens but will do the same the following night no matter what his brother says.

Sam is the same, but different.

Dean’s habits speak of a familiarity with his surroundings, a degree of comfort the hunter seems to find in the bunker that allows him to leave himself unguarded to some extent; a new development from what Castiel has previously known of him. 

Sam, too, seems calmer for the safety the bunker provides.  Quicker to smile and eased of an ever-present tension Castiel had not thought to notice before, Sam appears similarly comforted to be staying in one place; a place with hot, running water, food and countless books.

(Castiel has counted them.  He doesn't wish to ruin the surprise when Sam eventually discovers the three hundred he found in the back corner of a small room originally intended for storage purposes.)

Sam had found a measure of tranquility in the time they have stayed in the bunker, but from what Castiel has observed he has developed none of the habits his brother has and Castiel can’t help concluding that Sam, for some reason, feels less comfortable here than Dean.  Not trusting his safety to the impenetrable strength of their surroundings – or perhaps not trusting in its permanence – enough to allow himself the nesting habits that Dean takes comfort in; ‘settling in’ the longer they stay.  It concerns Castiel.  That Sam should feel unsafe in what has ostensibly become their home. 

Sam doesn't consider it to be so.

Dean has referred to it as such and Sam always struggles to comprehend for a moment.  Castiel can see on his face that Sam does not, perhaps _cannot_ , connect the sentiment to the bunker.  Sam had been hurt badly and often in his life; the child in him had been let down too many times.  Nothing saddens the angel quite so much as the human instinct of self protection.

When Castiel can see the contentment it brings Dean, it feels... not right, that Sam should be without a safe place.  And there is nothing the angel can do.  Not even he can force someone to feel safe, to let their guard down.  His inability to provide reassurance with a touch and some grace feels like a failing.  He considers talking with Dean – perhaps there is a human solution – but his attempt ends abruptly when Sam enters the room.  Not that Dean had been especially forthcoming, he had his aversion to _feelings_.

So he waits and observes Dean develop more habits and Sam, who doesn't, and hopes that maybe time will do what he cannot.

It takes a particularly late night/extremely early morning combination to reveal the progress happening beneath the surface, unseen even while Castiel looked on and noticed nothing.

He can’t say he’s not startled when, walking down one of the always lit corridors in the vague direction of the kitchen, he is accosted while passing Sam’s bedroom.  Fortunately he withholds his counter attack long enough to realise he is unharmed and in very little danger.  Nevertheless, he stands very, very still, hesitant arms hovering at his sides as he’s unexpectedly clung to.  He is uncertain if Sam is even awake.

Dean, eyes mostly closed, face slack and also possibly still asleep, looks their way from the end of the corridor – no doubt also on his way to the kitchen – and continues past as if he’s seen nothing unusual.  Castiel can’t help finding this supremely unhelpful.

So he stands and allows himself to be clung to.  Will this occurrence be explained to him at some point?

He begins to wonder, when it seems that Dean will not be returning and Sam may or may not be asleep curled small around Castiel with his face nuzzled into the angel’s collarbone, is this a habit?  Does Sam feel safe?  Trust?

Dean cooks and cleans and hums and Sam hugs?  Little wonder Sam has been so hesitant to let his guard down; the forms his self expression takes always leaves him more vulnerable than most; he holds back everything or nothing.

Castiel’s lips twitch into a smile that slowly grows until his whole face is radiating his happiness.  Sam feels safe.

Castiel had known, even before his time as a human, that faith took strength.  In some ways it was easy but it could also be the hardest thing anyone could do; to believe, to fall without proof of a safety net.  And once again he had underestimated Sam Winchester.

Very slowly, not wishing to end the fragile moment, Castiel brings his arms around Sam to rest on the man’s back, and marvels at how small such a tall man can make himself.  Sam melts further into his hold and Castiel is grinning and awestruck and Dean is walking past in the opposite direction back to his room, plated sandwich in hand, and Castiel has a moment to consider the sight the two of them must make.  But Dean has a look on his face as if he’s seeing something he hasn't seen for a very long time, and his shining eyes are smiling, and then he’s gone.

 

* * *

 

Castiel is still discovering things about himself.  He has developed his own habits.  When he’s particularly absorbed in a book he mutters the words aloud as he reads.  In Enochian.  If Sam appears he pretends not to notice because his muttered translations make Sam smile. 

Every time Dean cooks an especially elaborate meal Castiel finds himself offering to help.  He is always relegated to making the sauce.  Even when there is no sauce.  It is less disastrous to burn.  He becomes very good at making sauces.

And every morning, at the same time, he makes his way to the kitchen via ‘Sam’s corridor’ and is delayed a few minutes.  Sometimes many minutes.

He believes he may be over the loss of PB and J.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Written when I decided in the mornings Sam becomes a clingy, clingy koala and that Dean would know this and that Cas wouldn’t. 
> 
> And I did include a couple headcanons like Dean’s healthy respect for knives after numerous childhood lessons on knife safety from John and his overzealous cleanliness of the spaces that are ‘his’ (ie his room and the kitchen). And how once Sam opens himself up to someone he’s very vulnerable and he knows it, so he doesn't. Most of the time.


End file.
